Remarriage after divorce


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New! MAR-11-06 1:10:36	Forum: Christian Singles Member Surveys RE: Remarriage after divorce Reply to Topic		Submitted Anonymously
	There have been several comments regarding my initial response. And while you are all correct, I was merely trying to prove a point. If all we know about a situation is what information we are given. . .and I withheld information from you intentionally. . .then we can make "judgements" that are unjust and inaccurate. Yes, faithfulboy, my ex-husband and I both committed adultery. He did so first - in an homosexual affair - two years after we were married. And would have taken that tidbit of information to the grave had I not exposed myself in our 10th year of marriage. My ex-husband was emotional, verbally and sexually abusive to me and physically, emotionally and verbally abusive to our child. After having him scream at me for 30 minutes in a car where our child sat in the backseat, I chose to divorce him. I STOOD and said that it was time for the years of abusive behavior to END. That our child would know a better way of doing things than had been done in my family for generations or my ex-husband's family for generation. I have lived Mary Magdalene life. And Jesus rescued me from that life. I have repented and dealt with the consequences of the decisions I have made in the past. I have stood in obedience to Him. Gone where He sent me, shared my story, influenced the lives of those He placed in my path. And today, I am 18 months on the "clean" side of this. BUT only because EVERY day I lean on Jesus. Every day I accept what He has done for me. Every day, I put on His white robe of righteousness. Am I free to remarry? I have no idea. So again, I stand in obedience to Him. For now, His answer remains no. Will it always? I cannot answer that question. Nor can anyone else on this site. My ex-husband has stepped further and further away from Jesus. His lifestyle. . . smoking, drugs, living with another woman, porn, homosexual relationships. . . So faithfulboy, no, it is not better for me to step back into my former marriage. Do I have a right to remarry? I do not know. But I would like to think that the very same God who demands consequences for my very despicable acts rewards our faithfulness and desires us to be content in Him and truly happy and blessed. (Jer. 29:11) But I can't read His mind, only His word. So what do I know?

New! OCT-17-05 16:26:10	Forum: Christian Singles Member Surveys RE: Remarriage after divorce Reply to Topic		Submitted Anonymously
	I read a book called THE MARRIAGE COVENANT. What I got out of it was there was only two reason that GOD will allow a divorce, and they are for Homosexuality or Incest.Christians in the growing acceptance of the societal view of marriage as a social contract, governed by civil laws, rather than as a sacred covenant, witnessied and guaranteed by God HIMSELF. The primary purpose of the divorce procedure was to close the way forever for the man to remarry his former wife once she was remarried. The main point of this legislation is to prohibit a man or woman form remarrying this former wife if she or he had remarried another man or woman. Even if her second husband divorced her or died, she could not return to her first husband. To do so would be an "abomination before the Lord. (Deut 24:4) on the sam level as fornication. If a husband "legal" form of committing adultery. Since the Lord was witness to the MARRIAGE COVENANT, breaking it by divorcing one husband or wife meant to be faithless not only to one's spouse but also to GOD. Divorce then threatens not only the institution of marriage but also the security needed to raise a godly family. As John Murray puts it. "DIVORCE IS THE BREAKING OF A SEAL WHICH HAS BEEN ENGRAVEN BY THE HAND OF GOD" Mark 10:11-12 A man who divorces his wife and marries another owman is sinning not only against God but also against his former wife. He " Commits adultery against her" because by marring another woman , he is violating his covenant of commitment to his wife. After reading the book The Marriage Covenant you will see that in the beginning when God established marriage, divorce was not permitted, for a husband or a wife to divorce his/her spouse means to act against the will of the Creator of marriage. Marriage for Jesus in not a mere civil contract that can be terminated by a diveinely established covenant relationship that must not be put asunder. God is not interested in divorce but in the permanence of our marital relationship. If we divorce and remarry, we commit adultery.

New! SEP-20-05 10:4:57	Forum: Christian Singles Member Surveys RE: Remarriage after divorce Reply to Topic		Submitted Anonymously
	I've just come into this topic and I've taken time to read along all the posts in here. I must acknowledge I got stunned before some "explanations" and "excuses" that we as human beings try to find to "make up" what Bible calls sin, that simple and plain. Dear ones, life is hard for the sinner but God did not force the sinner to sin. It was up to him (her). God forgives but He won't avoid the consequences of our acts. With all my respect, I have some things to say about these "excuses". As to Mink's comments who wrote "feel free to marry for if you are marrying the mate he purposely created for you then the union will be highly favored". Please, then we could go through several divorces until finally find the "right mate"?. That is out of any sense. The same member wrote "we look at the outside instead of the inside (heart)". So, do you think God has the fault of our mistakes and our bad choices?. There is a time to know each other before marriage and we must think about taking the big step not only one but several times as it is a step for eternity. We can not say "well this was not the right one, so let's divorce and find the right one because God will bless it". Jesus said "If you want to be with me, TAKE your CROSS and follow me". Just the adultery of the other partner allows us to divorce and remarry and this is not a human's post, it is JESUS's post. As to Cynthia1962's comments, I have three things to mention. I definitely pray so you can find peace in God and He can show you clearly the truth. You mentioned you know that your ex husband has committed adultery. If you know this is so, then it is not important what others could say. You are FREE to remarry, because you and God knows you are not lying about this. So it is important to underline this. However there are some statements you support which are wrong. You can not call a commandment that comes from Jesus Himself to be "ludicrous". Don't you think there were abusive husbands in Jesus' times?. Or do you think that is just a modern pattern?. Do you think Jesus just left it out?. Of course not. There were and there are and there will be ALWAYS abusive spouses. And Jesus KNEW it, but Jesus did not even mention it as a valid reason for divorce. But Paul lets it to "separate". But remember, Paul (who speaks by God's inspiration" just showed two options for separated spouses (due reasons other than adultery): "To reconcile each other or to stay unmarried". Do not think of what is convenient to us, think of what God commands. One more thing, you said "promiscuity/pre-marital sex is NOT a sin since the principles are NOT married and we know that IT is a sin". You used this statement to explain that sometimes we are using strict interpretation of the word. Bible condemns fornication and fornication is sex before marriage. So there is evidence enough to support it. We are not being stern stricts in any sense. To TNLady, she thinks "drinking, gambling, etc" are biblical grounds for divorce as she thinks adultery encompasses those situations. Then if there were so many reasons for divorce according to your point of view, why did disciples were taken aback by Jesus' words and they did say "oh if this is the situation of a man with his wife, it is better to be single"?. They should never argued such thing if they had the idea of "divorcing" for any of these problems. They could have managed to find the perfect excuse for divorcing and remarrying with such variety of possibilities. But they really understood the only ground was "adultery" meaning infidelity. Besides you forget the power of PRAYER. Don't you think God can change those bad habits of "drinking, gambling" etc?. To Retta32, you won't find any verse in Bible suggesting that if you have an abortion, then if you repent of that sin, you can not give birth again. So it is not having anything to do with adultery consequences. By the other hand, you said "Yet now God in his gracious kindness declares us NOT GUILTY". Yes but we must show fruits of repentance or it is just a disguise. We are still GUILTY if we keep doing what God has forbidden. Keep that in mind. To the anonymous comment about "no one has right to resurface our sins except Jesus". Yes, it is true, and nobody will judge you except Jesus. But bear in mind the following. Jesus buries our sins in the bottom of sea when we REPENT and LEAVE our SINS. If we repent we gotta show FRUITS OF REPENTANCE. If we keep the sinful activities, are we showing any change in our lives?. I agree with you that NOBODY has the right to judge you, but tell me something, DO YOU have the RIGHT to tell Jesus what is right to do?. If God just let the innocent part to remarry without sin, do you have the right to deny it?. Think about it and God be with you dear friend. As to Ladycjb comments, I have the following words. You can not say "modern times" need bible statements to be "updated". God is God yesterday, today and tomorrow. Do you think Jesus did not think about future?. Please. Jesus is GOD. Assuming such conclusion would be lowering his God's attributes. Once again, as I mentioned to another member's comment above. Do you think there were no abusive husbands in Jesus' times?. Of course there were. So Jesus was AWARE of these problems. Jesus know EVERYTHING. But He still did not give a biblical ground to remarry after divorcing for the reasons you are mentioning. We as his followers should not look for "loopholes" to find reasons where they are not. Paul said clearly, "to the ones who separate, I don't have a commandment but GOD HAS (notice the importance of it), get RECONCILED or remain UNMARRIED". Point. He did NOT say "if there is no chance of reconciliation, then you can freely remarry". Did he?. Do you want to argue with Jesus?. I hope not, God loves you and He wants you to follow what He said. To SherriS, doing drugs is not a reason for divorce and remarry. Prayer has POWER to beat even DRUGS. If it is not possi

New! SEP-12-05 0:21:58	Forum: Christian Singles Member Surveys RE: Remarriage after divorce Reply to Topic		Submitted Anonymously
	I am very glad to hear so many stating that the Biblica grounds of adultery for divorce are not reserved for extra-marital affairs. Adulterating the marriage vows comes in all forms. Abuse being one of the many. The husband not taking care of his family as he is told to in the Bible is another. Both of which my husband did. At the point in time I kicked my husband out five years ago, I was told by a church member that I was OBLIGATED to remain married to this evil man if he wanted to change. I had been with him for less than three years, during which the ENTIRE time he told me he would change and never did. Never even took steps. I prayed for him. We went ot counselling. Always he would go home and do the same things. It was when I lost one pregnancy, and the threat of losing another pregnancy, that I finally decided I had had enough. My life, and most certainly the lives of my children, were more important than waiting it out. If I had, he most certainly would have killed us. Lately, I have been presented with the ill-conceived notion that I need to reconcile myself with my ex husband, for the kids' sake, as the Bible teaches that the only grounds for divorce is adultery, and if I chose not to reconcile with him, then I needed to remain single for the rest of my life so as not to go against the Bible and so as to live the Christian life. Let's forget for a moment that my "husband" cheated on me numerous times. He did more than adulterate the marriage vows by having sex with another person. He adulterated the marriage vows by not providing for his family, as he is commissioned to in the Bible. He adulterated his marriage vows by not loving, honoring, and cherishing his wife. Those are also ways to adulterate marriage. The Jews adulterated themselves against God (Jeremiah 3:8, KJV). Were they having sex with God (pardon me, I am sorry if that comment offends)? OF COURSE THEY WERE NOT!!! So what DID they do? They worshipped other "gods". They dishonored the vows they made to God. THIS is how they adulterated themselves against God. So why is it that it is commonly "known" that to adulterate your marriage vows simply means you had sex with someone other than your spouse? The Bible gives clear insight as to what adultery is, and it isn't merely extra-marital affairs.

New! SEP-5-05 12:58:20	Forum: Christian Singles Member Surveys RE: Remarriage after divorce Reply to Topic		Submitted Anonymously
	I just wanted to add that when I married almost 22 years ago I thought that my husband would be my lifetime partner, and I always said that I did not believe in divorce. But guess what, I was wrong, sure it was good for many years, of course it took me having to turn the other check. But than mental abuse set in and I put up with that for many years. I really dont think that God would want one or any of his children to have to live with abuse. I did everything I could even marriage counseling. but it did not work. Believe me this is not what I ever thought I would ever be a divorced women at the age of 43 but I am. My nephew had his wedding on Sat. Sept. 3, 2005. and as I sat through the ceramony I had to wonder, (I wonder how long this marriage will last.

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